An online guide to what employers really mean when they offer….

Competitive Salary: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Flexible Hours: Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

Good Communication Skills: Management communicates, you listen and figure out what they want you to do.

Ability to Handle a Heavy Workload: You whine, you’re fired.

Duties will Vary: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

Competitive Environment: We have a high staff turnover.

Casual Work Atmosphere: We don’t pay enough to expect you to dress up; a couple of daring guys wear earrings.

Seeking a Wide Variety of Experience: You’ll need to replace the three people who just left.

– Comedy-zone.net