May 12, 2010
- Avoid Eating Out on Holidays
and Saturday nights. The sheer volume of customers guarantees that most kitchens will be pushed beyond their ability to produce a high-quality dish.
- There Are Almost Never Any Sick Days
in the restaurant business. A busboy with a kid to support isn’t going to stay home and miss out on a day’s wag because he got strep throat. And these are the very people who are handling your food.
- Waiters Can and Do Spit in People’s Food
When customer’s dissatisfaction devolves into personal attacks, adulterating food or drinks is a convenient way for servers to exact covert vengeance.
- Never Say “I’m Friends With The Owner”
Restaurant owners don’t have friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk in the door.
- Treat Others As You Want To Be Treated
(Yes, people need to be reminded of this)
- Don’t Snap Your Finger
to get our attention. Remember, we have shears that cut through bone in the kitchen.
- Splitting Entrée is OK
But don’t ask for water, lemon and sugar so you can make your own lemonade. What’s next, grapes so you can press your own wine?
- Asked to be Seated in The Section of The Waiter You Like
If you find a waiter you like, always asked to be seated in his section. Tell all your friends so they’ll start asking for that server as well. You’ve just made that waiter look indispensable to the owner. The server will be grateful and take good care of you.
- Always Examine the Bill
Sometimes large parties are unaware that a gratuity has been added to the bill, so they tip on top of it. Waiters “facilitate” this error. It’s dishonest, it’s wrong – and done all the time.
- Increase The Tip If You Want to Hang Out
Hanging Out is OK, but increase the tip to make up for the money the server would have made if he or she had another seating at that table.
- Never, Ever Come in 15 Minutes Before Closing Time
The cooks are tired and will cook your dinner right away. So while you are chitchatting over salads, your entrée will be languishing under the heat lamp while the dishwasher is spraying industrial-strength, carcinogenic cleaning solvents in their immediate vicinity.
- Don’t Order Meals That Aren’t On Menu
You’re forcing the chef to cook something he doesn’t make on a regular basis. If he makes the same entrée 10,000 times a month, the odds are good that the dish will be a home-run every time.